Benita recently began her digital marketing role. In this blog post, she shares her inspiring journey as a care leaver.
As a care leaver, moving into my own flat has been my biggest achievement to date. Looking back, nothing could have fully prepared me for that transition. For the past five years, I was comfortable, ‘looked after,’ and in a safe space I called home. At 18, my social worker started preparing me for independent living—giving me a budget, encouraging me to buy and cook my own food, and helping me attend a money management course to budget wisely.
I also had to say goodbye to my social worker and meet my new Personal Advisor (PA). The relationship with my PA felt so different; my security blanket was gone, and it was time for me to stand on my own. Though the support was still there, it wasn’t as constant, and I had to reach out for help if I needed it. I stayed with my foster carer post-18, but there were other options, such as semi-independent living, which I found intimidating at the time.
With the help of my PA, I was allocated a flat near my foster carer. While staying local didn’t seem significant at first, I now see it as a lifeline. Having familiar surroundings, knowing the area, and having nearby support are crucial to me.
Living on my own has been a steep learning curve—negotiating with agencies for repairs, budgeting on limited funds, and even learning how to decorate. But becoming independent has made me more determined and optimistic about my future. I’ve learned how resilient I am, forced to step outside my comfort zone and handle life’s challenges on my own. So far, I think I’m doing well.
Going from the security of a home to full independence isn’t easy. At times, I feel lonely, and sometimes I wonder if that loneliness will ever go away. Maybe that’s a topic for my next blog.
Mental health is a significant issue for many care leavers. If you’re struggling, seek help—don’t withdraw. Stay in touch with friends and family, stay active, and socialize; even small actions can improve your mood. I found myself avoiding interactions at one point, only ordering groceries online to avoid getting on the bus. Now, I’ve made shopping part of my weekly routine.
As my journey continues, I take things one day at a time.